2026 is upon us, just half a month away. And it will be the beginning of half-decade of this decade. This decade has been nothing but a long list of disaster domino so far. A plague? Check. Economic recession? Check. Low trust society? Very much check. Nepotism? Better get your pops to tick it. Rich gets richer? A tale as old as a stone. There's almost nothing left to look forward to beside reenactments of Idiocracy and 1984. ... Okay. I might exaggerated the details there.
And beside that. We still have to move forward. Somehow. And in the middle of grandiose delusional idea of infinite growth. One's mind is under constant attacks from all sides. But not all hope is lost in this decade. Thing you can't lose or afford to lose to is what makes you reading and understand this sentence. It's your mind. You need to protect its ownership before it belongs to someone else. Starting? Now.
Yours, Not Theirs
Do you want to know the definition of insanity? It's being told about that stupid "new year, old me" jokes over and over again. First time? It's funny. Second time? Less funny but still funny. And after that? It's annoying. Yeah yeah I get your point. Life sucks and than you die. But instead of being a bootleg emo. Have you tried using your volition to make it not suck?
What we all should need more than anything is to be more conscious about our own thoughts and choices. ... That might sounded stupid. Because, come on, everyone has their own consciousness. Well. It's a technical truth. "I think therefore I am" philosophy thing. But in this current state of this world. It's more of "I consume therefore I exist" instead. I have seen many husks of humans on streets, in offices, on social media platforms, and worst of all, in a mirror. All share a common goal of "making out of here" before sunset. Everyone have a place they want to be at and not want to be at.
"How can one not become a husk?" Hmm. That's a good question. To not become a husk is to fulfill yourself. And to fulfill yourself, you need to be full of yourself in the first place. A little bit selfish-leaning answer but your own choices are far more important than others. A thing I learned from living in this purgatory is if you don't make up your own mind, someone with malicious intent will replace yours with theirs. And usually. It's their worst choices.
Think about those hours you could have used to follow your passions, become your ideal self, to help others, to slack off, or simply just take a really long breather. Now think where those hours did go. Into utterly pointless doomscrolling on social media? Into playing worthless ranked match in some annual battle royale shooter slop? Into defending your favorite tv show because someone said "it sucks ass"? All of these "fun" activities are not done by your own volition. They are done by your own reactions instead. Your attention is now a commodity. The longer they take your time, the merrier they dance in excitement; like a scammer found their perfect victim to leech on.
We all are being influenced by too many outside noises. They suppress our inner desires to do anything. Distraction after distraction. Unable to move forward because of what this world has become. And all of this leads back to a negative feedback loop, dragging us down even deeper. I don't want to live like this anymore. You also don't want to live like that. Anyone doesn't want to get called "a husk" or "a shell". And the cure to that is to become more conscious about our thoughts. It's your mind. No anybody else.
Return To Form
You may skip this part because this is a rant from me. Who the hell wants to hear a man whine about life anyway?
... Social media, wrecked me. Hard. Work, wrecked me. Hard. Economy, scared me. To death. I wake up every morning with thousand of thoughts from all of sources rushing into my head, sometimes even with a headache. My feet are killing me due to my work. My brain is rotting itself. It's harder to think or articulate clearly anymore. I'm barely myself.
I have accepted this is the current stage of my life. But it doesn't have to be this way. Since November. I have dedicated an hour of my life to speed walking at a park nearby. The goal wasn't to burn off my calories (that might be its thing later). That was a side benefit. But to ease my feet pain from sharp uncomfortable pain to "damn i need to get a better chair" kind of pain. Beyond that. I treat myself with a proper sleeping time. From unholy midnight to 11pm on business days. I mean. It's more than seven hours. That won't fix my panda eyes but it will fix my headaches. And last. I have started replacing my hours I spent on YouTube and Reddit to books on subjects I took interests in.
I know nothing in life matters. So, why spends the rest of my life to bullshit static noises? I also know I can't get all those times I wasted back. So, why spends the rest of my day regretting about them? Anytime is always a good time to start to think for myself. I'll die as myself.
Aftermath
Well. That was a mouthful. And now. Good vibe for all sunshines.
Christmas is just ten days away. What will I do on Christmas? Nothing but saying "Merry Christmas" because I'm not a Christian. But new years holidays? Oh HEAVEN yeah. I spent ALL of my vacation days on the week before the next year. So, I can finally say "go solve this on your own lmao" to my works and go celebrate new years with my family.
I don't need to tell you my new year resolution. Because it's pointless. Why waits for new year when you can start now?